What Is Counter-Dependency?

What Is Counter-Dependency?When a loved one is addicted to oxycodone, it is common for their significant other to experience co-dependency, where the addict’s well-being and happiness become more important than their own. This can cause the individual to struggle emotionally with pleasing her partner even though her partner’s main focus is on maintaining his addiction. If left untreated, co-dependency can ruin relationships. Sometimes to help one cope with an addicted loved one, spouses become counter-dependent or almost emotionless.

These individuals often struggle with emotionally distancing themselves, blaming others for their current condition and even controlling others. Many relationships, even without addiction present, have both co-dependent and counter- dependency individuals. When it comes to addiction, what does it mean to be co-dependent or counter-dependent?

Counter-Dependency and Co-Dependent

Being in a relationships in today’s society, even when drug use/abuse is not a factor, takes a lot of work. Often times individuals find themselves either too focused on their own personal goals and ignoring their partner’s or they become fixated on their partner’s dreams while letting their own fall to the wayside. Learning how to balance this can be difficult and even more so when the partner is addicted to oxycodone. Identifying the warning signs if you or someone you love is either counter-dependent or co-dependent can open their eyes and help them get the help they so desperately need. Included in the following are some warning signs for those who exhibit counter-dependency :

  • Emotional walls
  • Inflated sense of self-esteem
  • Blames others
  • Controlling
  • Victimizes before being victimized

Counter-dependence is almost on the opposite side of co-dependent. Individuals struggling with counter-dependence often find themselves emotionally distancing themselves from their partner, controlling and manipulating the relationship and blaming others instead of taking responsibility for their own actions. An addict who is counter-dependent might blame her partner for her drug use or use her addiction in a way that controls her partner, making her partner act in ways he never thought he would, almost making them co-dependent. These individuals often are unable to set appropriate boundaries in their relationships because they lacked appropriate relationships when they were younger. When an addict, who is also counter-dependent, seeks treatment, her therapist should immediately establish appropriate boundaries as well as inform the individual on what to expect with treatment. This approach, is often extremely successful and gives the addict the structure she has been seeking.

If left untreated, both counter-dependency and co-dependency can ruin relationships. Co-dependence, is referred to as a pattern of behaviors in which an individual consistently finds himself dependent on the approval of someone else for both his self-worth and identity. One of the biggest key signs is when an individual’s purpose in life is to satisfy her partner’s needs but must make extreme sacrifices to do so.  Anyone can become co-dependent and in fact some research even suggests those who are more than likely had parents who emotionally abused or neglected them when they were in their teens. Included in the following are some of the common questions one can ask herself to see if she may be co-dependent:

  • Are you able to find satisfaction in your life outside of a specific person?
  • Do you recognize unhealthy behaviors in your significant other but stay with them despite the behaviors?
  • Are you constantly supporting your partner at the cost of your own mental, emotional and physical health?

It’s common for those who are co-dependent to receive feedback from loved ones advising that they are too dependent on their partner or if the individual themselves wished they had more independence by feeling an inner conflict if they attempt to distance themselves. These individuals also often suffer with high levels of anxiety and are more emotional in their relationships. In addition, it is common for co-dependents to spend a great deal of time and energy either trying to change their partner or conform to their partner’s ways. Co-dependents often feel as though they have to compromise themselves and their wants and needs for their partners. However, upon doing so, their partners often fail to do the same for them. Their health is not seen as important as their partners’, their accomplishments are often outshined by their spouse’s, and they lose sight of their own personal dreams and goals making the ultimate sacrifice of trying to please their spouses, when they know they never will.

Oxycodone Addiction Treatment

If you or someone you know and love is struggling with an addiction to oxycodone, please call our toll-free helpline today. Our highly trained and professional counselors are available 24 hours a day to answer your addiction questions and help you find the best treatment available. One call can completely change an individual’s life for the best, so call us today!